The informal poll about a potential name change yesterday led to an unfortunate email conversation last night about American Idol...the only 2 votes received were from my hillarious co-workers, showing support for their favorite karaoke contestants. After seeing these brilliant quips, I fired off an email to my 2 favorite non-Jewish yentas expressing my shock and dismay that this televised abortion had returned yet again, because, quite frankly, nothing can ever compare to the magical, spectacular wondrousness that was Sanjaya.
Inspired once again by this particular colleague (whose suggestion was the start of the blog you're suffering through now), I shot over to youtube to find the video of Benjy Bronk from the Stern show hijacking CNBC to express his love for both America and "Sangina," in an effort to show that I'm not a complete pop-culture tard. Colleague #1 replied almost immediately, letting me know that her speakers didn't work, and that she "fell angry about that" (typo preserved for posterity). Having been through the magical "no sound" issue with numerous other co-workers (including one who didn't have speakers...perhaps my easiest fix EVER, but that's a story for another time), I fired off the troubleshooting list - plugged in / power on (with red light) / volume knob turned on...to which she angrily (it was almost 8 and she was still at the office while most of the "cool kids" were out at the bar...I'd be pissed too) reminded me that I'm Dr. Nerd, not her. She also informed me that each of my diagnostic tests had been passed, and even added one QC to the list - she confirmed that she had checked the control panel in Windows to make sure the volume there was up (words cannot express how proud I was at that moment). Stumped and tired, I offered to stop by in the morning to try and diagnose the problem with her $4.99 set of speakers (nothing but the best for our senior staffers - mine were actually bought used for $0.75, so I'm a little jealous). Before I could switch over to ESPN to check the hockey scores (the playoff chase is officially upon us), I had another email from said colleague letting me know she fixed it and requesting a post in her honor.
She had no idea how she fixed it, but told me that the volume knob ended up being down. She had sought the help of another male co-worker (who some around the office refer to as tits McGee), who couldn't figure it out either. Proud that she fixed it, but devastated that her speakers had cheated on me and big-daddy-bitchtits (another name I've heard for this dude) was allowed to fiddle with her knobs (I'm still way too tired to come up with anything more creative or more subtle), I changed the subject to how much it sucked that she was stuck in the office working and I was home basking in the misery that is my life outside of work at the moment while a good size group of our compatriots were out getting loaded, having fun and enjoying their youth while both of us have gotten old before our time.
This one's for you pookie - hope I did it justice.
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